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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 07:26
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Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
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I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
Mixing alcohol and the morphine patch
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/13/(Fri) 14:12
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